95 Comments

Very moving. I lost both of my parents, abusive unfortunately, two years ago when I was 17. I’ve also been just grappling with how grief, anger, forgiveness wrap up in such a suffocating way. It’s extremely hard to forgive someone hurt you so deep when they should’ve loved you and you can never receive closure from, or even an explanation, but it’s even harder to ignore that ever persistent love for them too. I love my dead bitch mom lmao

Expand full comment

This made me cry, my mother is an addict and I often grieve the woman she could have been if her life was not ruined. So beautiful, thank you for making and sharing this.

Expand full comment

I made a substack account just to leave this comment. I always enjoyed your videos and podcast because of your quick wit and sharp tongue. So it’s nice to know you’re just as good at making me tear up as you are at making me laugh. I really hope to see more of your writing in the future. The way you describe things so passionately and almost nonsensically, and yet it always pin points the feeling/point you’re trying to get across perfectly. It’s a talent I love witnessing.

Expand full comment

Wow, this is absolutely incredible. As someone with such a complicated relationship with my mother, who has an even more complicated relationship with herself, and her mother. I cried reading this. Thank you so much for sharing.

Expand full comment

I love that you don’t believe in curses or blessings. They can really misguide a person and it’s clear how free you feel without those invisible pressures weighing on you. You’re an incredible storyteller and inspiration. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Your humor, raw emotion, and visceral descriptions really moved me. Can’t wait to read more of your writing💌

Expand full comment

while i did not lose my parents in death, i’ve been pre-grieving my separation from them because i’ve grown so disconnected from them, both caught up in cultural complexities and internal issues but: i resonated so deeply with the line of how you’re doing the things you wish she did, and it hit me really hard because i’ve been dealing with a lot of cultural and religious guilt over the things i’m doing which liberate me but are simultaneously “sinful” and “wrong”. but all the things i’m doing now would be things that i feel my mom deserves to do, because she was not free, and neither was her mom, and all of my maternal ancestors that i know of as well. that paragraph as a whole made me feel so much better about the things i’m doing that i made a whole substack just to comment this. thank you for these words

Expand full comment

Mothers and their daughters have such a complex relationship 🥲 we rlly spend our whole lives trying to figure out why they did us like that

Expand full comment

this is the first post im reading on this app and holy shit. i downloaded it just because of you and im glad i did.

Expand full comment

“i eat so fast i often forget to chew”

Expand full comment

tearing up rn

Expand full comment

honey, i want to give you a hug as big as the ocean. i couldn’t imagine the hell it takes to carve out forgiveness, yet you did. rage may have seethed through the teeth of every word, but there’s a childish love somewhere, sitting at the corner, looking out a window. hope all the doors open for you <3

Expand full comment

This is powerful, Kay.

Thank you for clicking "Post".

Expand full comment

I lost my mom as well. She overdosed on painkillers with toddler me in the room and left me to be raised by her grieving parents. I've experienced that feeling of "weary watching" my entire life. Where people are so worried they nearly push you into those very footsteps, they speak of it like you truly are cursed and you start to believe it. Cheers to strong "cursed" women doing their absolute best.

Expand full comment

Crying on my lunch hour for feeling seen is so passé, but thank you for giving me permission with this piece 🫶🏽

Expand full comment

my mother is still out there, she’s an addict, she left me when I was 12 and came back 4 years later with a baby. thank you for telling this story. I hope you know (and to my slight horror, as I type this out), that stories like this have been reflected and refracted in billions of ways and in billions of lives over history— and somehow yours will stick with me .

Expand full comment

wow, im not really great with words but i needed to put into writing to tell you how impactful this was. i'm the oldest of three and my mother is stuck with my horrible father because of us, and how you talked about that and her losing the chance to live, really struck me. thank you

Expand full comment